Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Who died my cat blue again?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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