Little spoons don't ask big questions
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
