no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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