have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize