Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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