Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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