After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I forget how to act sober
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