I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
