I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
