i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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