So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The adults are the big ones right?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
