Please, let me fuck your mom
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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