Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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