Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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