Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
