he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
