I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
