A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
