I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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