Well apparently he's into motor boating.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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