if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
