Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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