Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
