Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
