Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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