It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
