I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
