I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize