I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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