try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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