A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
