somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
