she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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