Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
