Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
