Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize