belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
