yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize