i think my mom watched the whole time
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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