I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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