If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
