Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
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