"it" just moved
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize