Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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