this just has baby written all over it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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