I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
