I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm at about main and main street
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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