I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she was so not down for the gang bang
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Green mimosas i think yes
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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