No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
