Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
