even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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