once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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