Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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