yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
