Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
