Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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