Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
