Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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