you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
