forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
